“Flexing” is a slang time period which means displaying off or boasting about one’s accomplishments, possessions, or abilities, typically with the intention of impressing others. For instance, somebody may “flex” on social media by posting footage of luxurious objects or sharing tales about their achievements.
Personally, I am not into flexing—what’s the purpose? It typically invitations disdain from others. As an alternative, I choose training stealth wealth and playing dumb, which helps decrease undesirable consideration each on-line and offline. After a sure level, it’s higher to mix into the group than stand out.
However as a person, I perceive the will to boast about our accomplishments as a result of it is a aggressive world. I’ve received to share some credentials on Monetary Samurai, in any other case, who’s going to hassle taking me significantly?
If no person is aware of who you might be or what you have achieved, life for you and your kids could also be way more tough. In some ways, attaining a certain level of status is critical for survival.
The Greatest Flex By Males Is Not What You Suppose
A few of you may suppose the next are the largest flexes by males:
- Driving a uncommon and costly automotive you’ll be able to really get out and in of with out your knees giving out.
- Residing in a mansion in an unique neighborhood surrounded by individuals who look and suppose such as you.
- Exhibiting off six-pack abs like Luigi Mangione in your profile image.
- Having an especially enticing partner who makes you are feeling each proud and barely insecure.
- Flying top quality or non-public whereas lecturing others about their carbon footprint.
- Working from residence in your pajamas and taking conferences from the pickleball courtroom.
- Working a sub-6-minute mile with no need a defibrillator afterward.
- Successful an award for being superior, handed out by the identical circle of people that all the time give one another awards.
- Talking on nationwide TV so typically you’ll be able to’t even eat a meal in public in peace.
- Changing into a nationwide bestselling creator, proudly sporting the title whereas incomes lower than minimal wage.
- Having a full head of hair with no grey strands at 50, defying genetics and the passage of time.
- Incomes a PhD from an Ivy League faculty simply to ensure everybody calls you “Physician.”
This stuff are good to have, particularly the six-pack abs once you’re middle-aged. Nevertheless, opposite to what I’m seeing on social media, these aren’t the largest flexes.
Being FIRE (financially impartial, retired early) turned a flex—it’s exhausting to beat the attraction of no conferences and no boss. Time is extra precious than cash, proper?
Nevertheless, the largest and newest flex I’ve observed is letting your spouse not must work. To completely present to your lady now looks like man’s best achievement. In any case, for those who really love your spouse, you’ll give her the present of freedom.
Take a look at one instance from TikTok.
It’s humorous as a result of, since 2010, I’ve been pondering the reverse: having a spouse who totally gives for the person, whereas the person will get to twiddle his thumbs at house is the best flex!
See previous posts on this topic:
How To Convince Your Spouse To Work Longer So You Can Retire Earlier
My Secret To Retiring Early With $4 Million And Two Kids In An Expensive City
The Secret To Early Retirement Is So Simple And Logical (2010 publication!)
Why the Greatest Flex Is Having a Working Spouse Take Care of You
Reflecting on my previous posts, it’s clear that I’ve typically thought-about flipping conventional gender roles and imagining a world the place extra ladies are the first breadwinners. This concept initially took root round 2010 once I was burned out from work and wanting to retire early. I yearned for aid from the relentless strain of incomes cash.
Nevertheless, the strongest catalyst for envisioning ladies as suppliers has been the profound affect of the profitable ladies in my life.
Surrounded by Highly effective Ladies
All through my profession and private life, I’ve witnessed the energy and achievements of extraordinary ladies.
At Credit score Suisse, my speedy Managing Director was Kathryn. She was nothing wanting inspiring—promoted to MD in her mid-30s whereas elevating three kids. Kathryn’s capability to stability demanding purchasers and a thriving residence life, all whereas remaining approachable, left an enduring impression. We nonetheless change vacation playing cards to this present day.
Earlier than Credit score Suisse, I labored alongside Michele, a Managing Director on the Latin America desk. She as soon as reviewed and accepted my request to commerce choices. Michele later thrived at Goldman Sachs for 32 years, changing into a Accomplice. To even get a job at Goldman, I needed to cross the gatekeeper, Kim Purkiss, their lead recruiter who determined if I’d make it to Tremendous Day interviews.
Even earlier than Wall Avenue, my aunt was a task mannequin of relentless achievement. With a BA from Brown College and a PhD in marine seismology from MIT, she now heads a scientific analysis division. Regardless of being in her late 60s, she nonetheless travels the world, advancing her area and supporting her household.
And, in fact, there’s my mom. She labored tirelessly within the U.S. State Division till she retired at 60, setting an instance of dedication and resilience.
A Pure Conclusion
These ladies did not want males to offer for them. They might simply stand on their very own and supply for his or her males!
Surrounded by such pushed and completed ladies, it felt pure to suppose that the final word flex just isn’t driving a flashy automotive however being supported by a hardworking spouse. In any case, if these outstanding ladies may excel so brilliantly of their careers, why not reimagine what partnership and assist may appear to be?
Being cared for by a profitable lady whereas specializing in different pursuits—whether or not parenting, writing, sports activities hobbies, or just having fun with life—looks like a strong paradigm shift. It’s not about shirking duty however slightly embracing the probabilities of non-traditional roles in a contemporary partnership.
Why Flipping Conventional Gender Roles Is the Larger Flex
The concept of a husband not letting his spouse work isn’t precisely groundbreaking—it’s been the standard gender dynamic in households for generations.
Traditionally, when {couples} have kids and one mum or dad stays residence, it’s way more frequent for the husband to carry a paying job whereas the spouse takes on the unpaid function of managing the family. This isn’t a controversial assertion; it’s merely the way in which issues have been for many years.
Should you attend a faculty occasion and chat with different mother and father, you’ll discover that households with a working husband and a stay-at-home mother are way more prevalent than the reverse. As a result of this setup stays so frequent, it doesn’t actually stand out as a “flex.”
What’s really spectacular—and a a lot greater flex—is breaking away from these conventional norms. Having the spouse as the only real breadwinner whereas the husband takes on the first caregiving and family duties is a daring shift. It challenges standard expectations and indicators a rethinking of conventional roles.
Curiously, whereas there’s been a gradual enhance in stay-at-home dads lately, the proportion of moms who keep at residence stays roughly the identical because it was in 1989. Resulting from these diverging traits, dads now characterize 18% of stay-at-home mother and father, up from 11% in 1989. This exhibits that societal norms round parenting roles are slowly evolving.
Extra Males within the FIRE Motion Have Working Wives
Since serving to to kickstart the modern-day FIRE (Monetary Independence, Retire Early) motion in 2009, I’ve observed a rising development: many males who declare to have achieved FIRE have working wives. Whereas some acknowledge their wives’ contributions, their roles typically go unmentioned throughout podcast interviews or media options.
Why the omission?
If I had a working spouse who earned an revenue and supplied subsidized healthcare whereas I managed the family, I’d rejoice her! And if she had been additionally a mom juggling profession and parenthood, she’d deserve countless reward. Balancing a profession with the calls for of parenthood—particularly throughout a toddler’s early years—is extremely powerful. Parental guilt typically weighs closely.
Should you’re a stay-at-home husband or father, embrace it. You’ve received the lottery in case your spouse helps you financially. Don’t downplay her contributions—shine a highlight on them! Acknowledge her efforts and achievements with satisfaction.
Keep-at-Dwelling Males Should Unite
Keep-at-home males, it’s time to problem the stigma. There’s no have to downplay your function by claiming you’re “retired” when your wife’s paycheck is your passive income source. Personal your place with satisfaction. Be assured once you inform individuals you’re a stay-at-home dad or husband.
By normalizing and embracing the function, you’ll be able to encourage extra males to pursue their need to be family caretakers with out feeling societal strain. If ladies need to give attention to their careers and monetary independence, we should always rejoice and assist them.
As well as, it is smart for girls who aspire to long-term careers to assist extra males staying at residence. Behind each working partner is usually an under-celebrated however important associate managing the myriad duties that include elevating a household.
Assist Ladies’s Monetary Independence
Ladies are outpacing males in faculty enrollment and advancing in management roles throughout industries, authorities, and society. For the next Return On Effort, it is smart for extra ladies to work longer and earn extra money than males.
Importantly, extra ladies than ever are financially impartial—a development we should always encourage. In any case, because the saying goes: “A person just isn’t a monetary plan.”
As a father to a daughter, I hope she chases her skilled goals with vigor whereas additionally discovering a loving associate. If that associate occurs to be a accountable man who chooses to remain at residence and lift their kids, implausible.
Nevertheless, the function of a stay-at-home dad comes with duties. If a person fails to tug his weight round the home or be an engaged father, the association received’t fly. In such circumstances, I’d have a candid dialog with him—man-to-man—and remind him to honor his Provider’s Clock.
Males At Dwelling Want To Be Cautious To not Take Issues Too Far
We have to reframe how society views stay-at-home males. Sadly, unflattering examples perpetuate stereotypes, hindering broader acceptance of this function.
In case your spouse loses respect for you, your marriage might start to unravel. Not incomes cash for the family is ok, however a person should stay helpful and discover that means in his function.
The “Loser” Husband Stereotype
Take the instance of a 41-year-old man price $2 million in liquid property, producing $125,000 in passive income yearly. Regardless of this monetary contribution, his spouse referred to as him a “loser” after he retired. That is the form of story that damages the notion of stay-at-home husbands or boyfriends.
If he’s spending his days getting stoned and enjoying video video games on-line with pals, it’s no surprise his spouse feels annoyed. But, take into account his backstory: he spent 18–23 years working after highschool or faculty to amass his/their wealth. He has each proper to sit back and loosen up for a 12 months or two after retiring early.
Nonetheless, staying idle indefinitely isn’t the reply. As an alternative, he may give attention to significant pursuits, whether or not managing the family, volunteering, or engaged on a unique interest apart from video video games. Heck, he may even flex to his pals how his spouse helps him—although the fact is that his monetary contributions play a big function of their family stability.
By reframing the narrative round stay-at-home males and rejecting the “loser” stereotype, we are able to create extra acceptance and respect for males who select this path. However males should additionally step as much as display the worth they create to their households and relationships.
Let’s Normalize Keep-At-Dwelling Males
Society typically expects males to be breadwinners, excel professionally, contribute to chores, and sacrifice time with their kids. These pressures result in stress and burnout, leaving little room for success.
Many males would gladly embrace the function of stay-at-home dads, permitting their companions to give attention to careers. Normalizing this selection dismantles outdated gender roles and creates more healthy, extra balanced households.
Keep-at-home males play an important function in nurturing their households, managing households, and contributing meaningfully. Their efforts are as precious as incomes a paycheck and allow ladies to thrive professionally with assist at residence.
Let’s construct a world the place roles are based mostly on particular person strengths and preferences, free from societal judgment. Happier households and true gender fairness begin with embracing these shifts.
Loading …Associated put up: How To Get Your Parents To Pay For Everything As An Adult Child
Readers, what do you suppose is the larger flex for males: supporting their wives so that they don’t must work, or not having to work as a result of their wives are the first suppliers? Should you imagine there’s a stigma in opposition to stay-at-home males, how can we work collectively to remove it? Are you able to respect a stay-at-home man who is not productive and primarily simply consumes?
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