Marriage is usually considered as a sanctuary, a partnership certain by love, belief, and help. Nonetheless, some relationships devolve into poisonous, even lethal dynamics when these cornerstones erode. This function story by GODFREY GEORGE unpacks the tragic phenomenon of “killer {couples}” in Nigeria, inspecting the interaction of home abuse, psychological misery, and societal pressures that gasoline these deadly outcomes
“What has he not completed to me?” Madam Clara’s voice trembled as she spoke in Pidgin English. A haunting unhappiness lingered with each phrase, as she tried to relate her ordeals.
“Was it when he tied me up in a nook and beat me up as a result of I requested for cash for meals? Or when within the morning I might be praying on the ground and he would spit on me whereas going to his office? If I complain, he’ll curse me and one other spherical of beating will begin.
“The opposite day, he hit the again of my head with a shovel. I entered a coma for greater than two days. I virtually died. He begged me and I forgave him,” she added, her eyes drifting to the ground.
The violence Clara described didn’t start all of the sudden.
Jonas, her husband, had been this fashion virtually because the day they met at a vocational coaching college on Bonny Island, Rivers State. Two lives nonetheless brimming with chance, she had fallen for him rapidly.
Earlier than lengthy, a being pregnant compelled the lovebirds to start out residing collectively.
Jonas, then 26 years outdated, did what he deemed “honourable” on the time, paying a go to to her dad and mom to acknowledge his dedication.
Nevertheless it was solely an “introduction,” Clara clarified.
They didn’t marry absolutely till 2017, after her dad and mom handed. It was then that Jonas accomplished the wedding rites again within the village.
However the ceremony modified nothing.
“After I had my second being pregnant, this man beat me until I fainted and began bleeding. It took the grace of God and the assistance of neighbours for me and the newborn to not die,” she recounted.
For practically 25 years, Clara lived with him, enduring the violence and elevating their six kids within the shadow of his fury.
Then, at some point in 2018, after greater than 20 years of survival, Jonas instructed her he was completed. He wished her out.
“He instructed me if I didn’t depart, he would kill me,” she recalled.
The oldest of their kids, George, was in Pankshin, a quiet faculty city in Plateau State, observing the obligatory Nationwide Youth Service Corps scheme.
Their second little one, Maurine, out of college since 2014, did odd jobs, whereas their different 4 kids had but to complete secondary college.
The household’s youngest little one, solely 11 years outdated when Jonas instructed her to go away, was too younger to hold the burden of the mom’s sorrow.
“One night, as he got here again from work, he began beating me once more. He beat me to the purpose I may not cry. He made a design on my again with the cane,” she stated, her voice choked with a quiet, numbing horror.
Her kids, determined to assist, pounded on the locked door, begging their father to cease.
However Jonas was unstoppable; he dragged them inside and lashed at them too, one after the other.
Regardless of her deep religion, the relentless weight of her state of affairs left her with nowhere to show.
“My dad and mom are lifeless. My siblings are poor; he even instructed them that in the event that they tried any garbage, he’d be the one to lock them up after he should have killed me.
“I might have discovered my manner since, however God hates divorce,” she mumbled.
“Individuals have suggested me to report him on the police station. Some suggested me to name troopers on him. But when these individuals kill him, who will handle these kids? My eldest little one is attempting his greatest. He’s in Abuja. He does every part. This man doesn’t even handle something. When he involves the home, it’s all shouting. If I speak, he beats the residing daylight out of me.
“As I’m speaking to you now, I’m unwell. My physique aches. I’m solely 48, however see how outdated I look due to struggling,” Clara stated.
For a number of days, makes an attempt to achieve Jonas proved fruitless. Calls and textual content messages went unanswered. Nonetheless, on Thursday afternoon, Saturday PUNCH tried as soon as extra—and, unexpectedly, he picked up.
After patiently listening to the main points of Clara’s allegations, Jonas’s response was blunt: “She is mendacity. I’ll by no means do this to my spouse.”
When requested if he nonetheless lived beneath the identical roof together with her and if he is likely to be open to a follow-up dialog, his tone grew sharp. He stated, “Younger man, thoughts your online business. I handle my household. That girl is mendacity.”
This reporter pressed additional, mentioning that there have been witnesses who may corroborate his spouse’s account and proof within the type of pictures of accidents sustained from the abuse.
At that time, there was a heavy silence on the road earlier than Jonas abruptly hung up. Additional makes an attempt to achieve him went unanswered, and he supplied no further remark.
Whereas Clara lives to recount her story, nonetheless entangled in a wedding that, by all indicators, is abusive, different ladies haven’t survived such ordeals.
One tragic instance is that of Mrs Ogechukwu Okafor, who was allegedly murdered in chilly blood by her husband.
Her story, in contrast to Clara’s, resulted in devastating silence.
Ogechukwu’s life was allegedly taken by her husband, Elijah Ibeabuchi, a pastor in Anambra State.
In line with a number of sources in the neighborhood, the horrific occasion befell on August 13, 2024, in Nimo, a group in Njikoka LGA.
Whereas preliminary data recommended a fall from a constructing, it quickly grew to become obvious that Ogechukwu’s dying was removed from unintended.
The Anambra State Ministry of Ladies’s Affairs and Social Welfare grew to become concerned when Ogechukwu’s uncle, Onuorah, raised issues.
He alleged that the household initially obtained a name from Elijah, claiming that Ogechukwu had fallen from a four-storey constructing and succumbed to her accidents.
Nonetheless, when the household arrived on the mortuary the place Elijah took the physique to, the reality took a darker flip. They reportedly found proof of stab wounds to her neck and chest, a sight that dispelled any declare of a fall and left the household in shock and grief.
In response, the state Commissioner for Ladies’s Affairs and Social Welfare, Ify Obinabo, vowed to pursue justice for Ogechukwu.
“This isn’t only a tragedy however a wake-up name,” she acknowledged, urging group stakeholders, ladies’s rights teams, and social activists to rally across the case.
“We’ll be sure that this matter is absolutely investigated and that no stone is left unturned,” she added, promising that she would personally contain the state governor to ensure justice was served.
Public outrage has been swift, as particulars of the case unfold on-line.
Mrs Obinabo’s name for justice resonates deeply, as many in Nigeria and past comply with the story, lending their voices to the combat towards home violence and looking for accountability for Ogechukwu’s dying.
Killed over loaf of bread
In one other heartbreaking story that underscores the tragic outcomes of unchecked home violence, Ogochukwu Anene, a mom of 5 from Awka, Anambra State, was allegedly overwhelmed to dying by her husband, Ndubisi Uwadiegwu, following an argument over a loaf of bread.
The incident, which occurred in January 2023, sparked outrage as particulars emerged from members of the family and people near Ogochukwu.
In line with sources, Ogochukwu’s first son, aged 14, recounted that his father grew to become enraged after consuming the whole loaf of bread that his mom bought for his or her kids.
When the girl questioned Ndubisi about consuming the bread with out leaving any for his or her kids, he reportedly launched a violent assault, utilizing a mirror to strike her till she succumbed to her accidents.
The story reverberated via Ogochukwu’s group and her former college community.
Recognized for her management because the Senior Prefect of Amenyi Women Secondary Faculty’s 2000 class, Ogochukwu’s premature dying deeply shook her outdated classmates and mates. Members of her group took to social media to precise outrage. Additionally they referred to as on the authorities to make sure justice was served.
In response to the general public outcry, Mrs Cordelia Anene, Ogochukwu’s mom, visited Obinabo, to demand justice for her daughter.
Eyes gouged out
In one other stunning case, a husband, Lawrence Uzor, an aluminium employee in Umuahia, Abia State, allegedly gouged out his spouse’s eyes with a knife early Sunday morning, reportedly for ritual functions.
Uzor’s landlady, Madam Lovejane Nwaiwu, who was additionally attacked whereas attempting to intervene, is recovering on the Federal Medical Centre, Umuahia.
In line with Nwaiwu, round 1am, she heard Uzor’s spouse, Amarachi Lawrence, screaming for assist.
Speeding to the couple’s condominium, Nwaiwu reportedly witnessed Uzor assaulting his spouse and attacking her with knife.
Group members responded after the landlady contacted them, resulting in Uzor’s arrest.
Males as victims
Magaji, a 38-year-old resident of Karu LGA, Nasarawa State, in one other tragic occasion, reportedly took his life after studying of his spouse’s alleged infidelity.
The heartbreaking incident, which has sparked each shock and unhappiness in the area people, was just lately confirmed by the Nasarawa State Police Command.
The state Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Nansel Ramhan, disclosed that the invention was first reported by a workers member of Crystal Faculty Masaka, the place Magaji was discovered.
Officers responded swiftly as his physique was taken to Basic Hospital, Mararaba, the place medical personnel confirmed his dying. The physique has since been transferred to the hospital’s morgue.
The police additionally acknowledged that they have been investigating the circumstances surrounding Magaji’s dying to uncover the components main as much as the incident. Nonetheless, no suicide be aware was discovered on the scene, leaving many questions unanswered.
In the meantime, allegations circulating on social media counsel that Magaji might have taken his life after discovering that his spouse was concerned in extramarital affairs along with his mates, in alternate for monetary help.
These claims, although unverified, have amplified the tragedy, with many questioning the societal pressures and emotional turmoil that will have contributed to Magaji’s closing resolution.
In one other pathetic case, 23-year-old Rahimat Salaum was apprehended within the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja, accused of killing her husband, Shehu, following an alleged home dispute.
In line with a number of sources near the matter, Rahimat was making an attempt to flee together with her husband’s belongings when operatives of the Nigeria Police Drive intervened.
The FCT Police Command spokesperson, Josephine Adeh, acknowledged that on July 29, 2024, round 6pm, officers from the Pegi Police Division, performing on credible intelligence, apprehended Rahimat.
“The suspect was reportedly seen loading her husband’s belongings right into a mini truck when police operatives intercepted her.
“Shehu, who was paralyzed, had been lacking for 3 days previous to this stunning discovery,” she acknowledged.
Throughout questioning, Rahimat allegedly confessed to killing Shehu after a quarrel, main officers to an uncompleted constructing the place she had hidden his burned stays.
The Ondo State Police Command additionally just lately launched a manhunt for Mrs Tayelolu Solomon, who was accused of killing her 67-year-old husband, Mr Felix Solomon, with a pestle whereas he slept at their dwelling within the Authorities Reserved Space of Ondo city.
The tragic incident occurred final Saturday.
In line with the police, stress had been brewing between the couple for a while.
Their son, Ibukun Solomon, who witnessed the incident, recounted {that a} minor argument earlier that day escalated into a short bodily altercation.
Afterward, his father went to relaxation on a chair, however Tayelolu allegedly took a pestle and struck him a number of occasions on the top.
In his account, Ibukun stated, “My mom killed my father with a pestle in my presence and fled. She hit him whereas he was asleep, rendering him unconscious. When she realized what she had completed, she hid the pestle behind the home and ran away.”
Neighbours, alerted by Ibukun, rushed Felix to a close-by hospital, however he was later pronounced lifeless. His physique was transferred to the morgue.
The Ondo State Police Public Relations Officer, Funmilayo Odunlami, confirmed the incident and acknowledged that the command was pursuing Tayelolu.
Home abuse: A hidden epidemic
Home abuse, typically shrouded in secrecy, has turn into a silent epidemic affecting hundreds of thousands worldwide.
The difficulty cuts throughout all demographics, no matter age, socio-economic standing, ethnicity, or gender, although research present that girls are disproportionately impacted.
Outlined as a sample of coercive, controlling behaviour involving bodily, emotional, psychological, sexual, or monetary abuse, home abuse thrives on energy and management, leaving victims remoted, susceptible, and infrequently with no clear manner out.
Regardless of growing consciousness, home abuse stays underreported and inadequately addressed, particularly in international locations with weak authorized frameworks and social stigmas surrounding victims.
Analysis by the World Well being Organisation reveals that just about 30 per cent of girls globally have skilled bodily or sexual abuse by an intimate companion in some unspecified time in the future of their lives.
In some areas, together with sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia, the charges are even increased, reflecting a stark actuality for girls going through abuse in personal areas.
Research additional present that abuse isn’t restricted to bodily violence; psychological abuse—characterised by manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation—may also have equally devastating, long-term results on victims.
The US Nationwide Home Violence Hotline studies that psychological abuse happens in as much as 48 per cent of instances, making it a prevalent but typically invisible type of home violence.
Specialists say social stigma performs a big position in perpetuating this hidden epidemic.
Victims are sometimes blamed for his or her conditions, accused of scary the abuse or pressured to remain in abusive relationships to protect household honour or stability, particularly in conservative or patriarchal societies.
This stigma prevents victims from looking for assist, fearing judgment or isolation from their group.
In some areas, victims might lack entry to assets akin to secure shelters, authorized illustration, or psychological well being companies, that are essential for rebuilding their lives post-abuse. Consequently, many proceed to undergo in silence, feeling trapped with no viable escape.
A research printed in The Lancet Psychiatry emphasises the correlation between home abuse and psychological well being points, together with despair, nervousness, post-traumatic stress dysfunction, and an elevated threat of substance abuse.
Victims typically develop extreme psychological well being challenges as a coping mechanism, resulting in a cycle of psychological and emotional trauma.
A senior developmental psychologist, Dr Usen Essien, specialising in abuse trauma and rape, famous that the psychological scars of home abuse typically outlast bodily wounds, eroding a sufferer’s self-worth and making restoration exceedingly troublesome with out correct help.
Essien added that unaddressed psychological well being circumstances additionally issue closely into these tragic relationships.
Research, akin to these printed in The Journal of Interpersonal Violence, spotlight that untreated psychological well being points, together with persona problems and substance abuse, improve the probability of violent outbursts in intimate relationships.
Essien stated, “For example, persona problems like borderline or narcissistic persona dysfunction can gasoline a cycle of dependency and volatility, making it troublesome for both companion to go away.
“Entry to psychological well being assets, that are restricted in lots of areas, may supply much-needed intervention for struggling {couples}, doubtlessly stopping deadly outcomes.”
Laws and social companies, research have proven, can play a transformative position in combating this epidemic.
International locations like Sweden and Spain have established strong help methods and legal guidelines that prosecute abusers whereas defending victims.
Nonetheless, in lots of low and middle-income international locations, authorized protections for home abuse victims are minimal or poorly enforced, leaving victims with out recourse.
In line with the United Nations, fewer than 40 per cent of girls who expertise violence search assist of any kind, typically on account of a insecurity within the authorized system’s means to guard them.
Home abuse isn’t merely a private challenge; it’s a urgent public well being disaster. Addressing it requires complete motion, together with authorized reform, schooling to dismantle dangerous gender stereotypes, and larger availability of help companies.
By bringing home abuse into the open and recognising it as a social epidemic, societies can take vital steps towards ending the cycle of violence, empowering victims, and creating safer communities for future generations.
The tragic toll of killer {couples}
The phenomenon of “killer {couples},” involving home companions who inflict deadly hurt on one another, sheds mild on the darkest elements of intimate relationships gone awry.
Lately, instances of deadly violence between {couples} have garnered appreciable media consideration and uncovered the tragic penalties of escalating home abuse.
The difficulty, whereas not new, highlights the devastating affect of unresolved interpersonal conflicts, unaddressed psychological well being points, and the social normalisation of violence in relationships.
These tragedies are signs of broader societal points, together with the stigmatisation of separation and a scarcity of entry to help for home violence victims.
Statistics reveal a deeply troubling sample: home murder is among the many main causes of dying for girls worldwide.
In 2017, as an illustration, the United Nations Workplace on Medication and Crime reported that 87,000 ladies have been killed deliberately, with over half (58 per cent) killed by intimate companions or members of the family.
Males are additionally affected, although at a lesser price, with the vast majority of perpetrators being companions or spouses.
Whereas there isn’t a universally agreed-upon definition of “killer {couples},” these instances usually contain escalating patterns of emotional, psychological, and bodily abuse, typically exacerbated by psychological well being challenges and a historical past of relationship turbulence.
A relationship coach and preacher, Mrs Mercy Chepaka, described these relationships as “time bombs,” warning that underlying anger, jealousy, and an incapacity to handle battle can contribute to lethal outbursts if left unchecked.
“For a lot of victims, the worry of disgrace or ostracism retains them trapped, with few avenues for escape or recourse,” she added.
Depart to dwell
Killer couple instances reveal the inadequacies of societal help methods and authorized protections for people trapped in violent relationships.
Weak or unenforced home violence legal guidelines can stop victims from looking for restraining orders or leaving abusive environments, placing them at heightened threat. Furthermore, shelters and counselling companies are sometimes underfunded or non-existent in lots of areas, leaving victims with no secure different however to stay in abusive relationships.
To mitigate the toll of those tragic instances, specialists advocate for a multi-faceted method, together with stronger authorized protections, public schooling on recognising abuse, and accessible psychological well being assets.
A authorized practitioner, Mrs Selena Onuoha, asserts that breaking the cycle of home violence requires systemic change and societal recognition of abuse as a public well being challenge, not only a personal one.
“By confronting the underlying components that result in deadly companion violence, society can supply different pathways for these in dangerous relationships, selling separation or divorce as viable, life-saving choices somewhat than stigmatised failures,” she opined.
Tradition and normalisation of violence
Chepaka famous that the normalisation of violence in marriage is a disturbing actuality in lots of societies, the place deeply rooted cultural beliefs and conventional values typically condone and even reinforce abusive behaviors between spouses.
“Whereas marriage is ideally a partnership based mostly on mutual respect and care, cultural expectations in lots of communities deal with bodily self-discipline, management, or psychological abuse as acceptable strategies of imposing authority or sustaining ‘concord’,” she acknowledged.
A sociologist, Mr Thankgod Ezechi, stated this phenomenon turns into notably problematic in patriarchal societies, the place male dominance is inspired and enforced, and the place wives are sometimes anticipated to endure mistreatment for the sake of household unity
“Many cultures regard marriage as a sacred and unbreakable bond, discouraging separation or divorce whatever the circumstances. In lots of African, South Asian, and Center Jap international locations, societal expectations dictate {that a} “good spouse” endures hardship in silence, equating resilience in marriage with ethical energy,” he stated.
Moreover, in some societies, conventional gender roles are so deeply entrenched that they body violence as a essential and even “deserved” response to marital disputes.
Research, together with these printed in The Journal of Household Violence, point out that cultural beliefs in male authority are strongly linked with tolerance for wife-beating, particularly when wives are perceived as difficult or undermining their husbands.
In lots of instances, males are socialised to consider that bodily self-discipline is a suitable technique to assert dominance or “right” their wives’ conduct.
In line with a 2021 report from the WHO, such cultural beliefs contribute to the truth that practically one-third of girls globally expertise intimate companion violence in some unspecified time in the future of their lives.
Stigma about divorce
One other contributing issue to the normalisation of violence in marriage is the stigma surrounding divorce, specialists famous.
In lots of cultures, divorce carries heavy social penalties, notably for girls. Divorced ladies can face exclusion, monetary hardship, and blame for the breakdown of their marriage, which discourages many from leaving abusive relationships.
This reluctance to pursue separation or divorce isn’t solely on account of worry of social judgment but additionally sensible issues: ladies in such conditions might lack the monetary independence, schooling, or household help to dwell other than their abusers.
As Chepaka places it, in cultures the place marriage is a lady’s principal social and financial help, leaving an abusive relationship might look like an inconceivable choice, irrespective of how dire the circumstances.
The affect of faith additionally performs a job, as non secular leaders in some communities advocate for marriage preservation over private security, advising victims to “pray” for his or her companion’s transformation somewhat than depart a violent setting. The tradition of putting up with abuse beneath the guise of spiritual responsibility or conventional values typically silences victims and permits perpetrators.
To deal with this pervasive challenge, activists and specialists argue for a cultural shift towards viewing marriage as a partnership based mostly on equality and respect, somewhat than management and submission.
Elevating consciousness of home abuse, enhancing authorized protections for victims, and difficult the stigma surrounding divorce are important steps. By empowering people to hunt assist and selling schooling on wholesome relationships, societies can start dismantling the cultural norms that perpetuate violence in marriage.